Isn’t a green flower called a leaf? Part I

I grew up in a rose garden with tulips, orchids, philodendrons. My garden was literal not figurative. My mother owned a florist shop, The Rose Garden, until my sister was born when I was about five years old. Some of my earliest memories are of waking up from a nap amongst buckets of fresh flowers or the rush of the cold air filling my lungs when I stepped into the walk-in cooler where all the special flowers were kept.

[start dream music]

In all the years of dreaming about my wedding, I never thought once about the flowers. I assumed that would be the simplest part to the whole affair. When asked, I’ve told my friends, “Oh, my mother will handle it.” That came as no surprise to anyone.  She has a terrific reputation for elegant, ornate, breathtaking work.

[record screech]

That dream ended tonight. Reality set it.

“What do you want your flowers to look like?” said my mother. 

“I don’t know,” I replied. Her eyebrow raised and she sat there patiently but not pleased. This was not the first time we’d had this conversation but I’d always just ignored it for some other more pressing wedding detail. 

Then it struck me, I was dealing with a professional and I was not being a cooperative client.

“I just want them to be ‘green’.” I spurted out.

“Ok, that’s fine. But that may not be realistic.” She continued in her patient, stern tone. 

Frustrated I said, “It must be Mother. We have greened every other aspect to this wedding. We must find a solution for this as well. I will not waste fossil fuels for flowers. There has got to be a way we conquer this one.”

The conversation continued in this fashion. She produced magazine upon magazine in order to elicit what look, feel, style, texture, color palette I wanted. That brought progress. Two bouquets fit the image in my mind’s eye.  I wanted bold colors and textures that pulled together to create a clean, high style look.

I took a chance and asked, “Why don’t we just have dad go out and collect the stuff from the forest the week of the wedding?”

“There will be many important details that week. We cannot be running around in the woods looking for flowers that may or may not be in bloom the week of your wedding.  You do have 10 bridesmaids. And, we have a business to run Mandy,” she responded in a clearly displeased fashion.

I knew that was another strike out.

“Where exactly are we going to get these flowers from?” she inquired. “The flowers you like are not grown here. Tulips do not grow in the South. They grow in New England and Europe and are flown in.”

I relented a bit and admitted that I didn’t have the answer. “Ok. I will be fine if they come from the southeast.  I have heard from my friends in the local food space that there are greenhouses in Georgia that specifically grow flowers. Why don’t we call them and see what they will have in May?  Then we can let that drive what we use.” That has been my strategy in other parts of the wedding. I have traded off abundance in the name of quality and availability and its works great. Why not now?

Truce was reached.  I pledged to produce a list of Georgia growers tomorrow.  Then we must find growers that provide her with the level of confidence in choice and quantity she needs. If not, that’s another conversation for another day that I hope we don’t have to have.

I walked away having realized that flower arrangements for big events are like electricity- taken for granted until you flip the switch and it’s not there. And like the electric company, florists need reliable resources to produce their product. Green resources are not yet ubiquitous for producing electricity or grand flower arrangements.

Green Wedding Shower Check List

A green wedding can be much more than simply the ceremony and reception.  As we’ve worked through our planning our family and friends have been eager to try their hand at infusing sustainability into showers and parties.  (The Matron-of-honor shared her expereince last month here on Go Green In Style.)

We’ve captured our checklist here to help you as you organize your thinking.  Let us know what other questions or suggestions you have!

 

Category	Checklist	Resources
Invitations	•Paperless  invitations- online invitation    •If paper, recycled content paper and soy ink   •Non-traditional: Seed paper, handmade, hemp	•Evite.com or Pingg.com    •Greenprinter.com   •Botanicalpaperworks.com
Food	•Green menu- Some or all of the menu is composed of local, organic, in season ingredients    •Choose a caterer who specializes in sustainable catering   •Minimize meat and dairy	•WorldCommunityCookbook.org    •GA Options: GeorgiaOrganics.org
Beverages	•Non-alcoholic:  organic teas, soft drinks •Wine: Choose organic, biodynamic, or local wine  •Beer: Choose organic or local beer   •Liquor: Several organic vodkas are on the market	•Choice Teas, Knudsen    •Bonterra, Frey   •Wolavers, Stone Mill   •360 Vodka, Square One
Supplies	•Eliminate paper and plastic products. Use china, silverware, linens    •If using disposables, go for compostable products	•Worldcentric.com
Themes	•Organic cooking demonstration    •Botanical garden  or museum	•GA: Cooks Warehouse
Décor	•Flowers: Choose in season and domestically grown, consider plants or flowers that can be planted    •Minimize decorations that will be disposed	•Waldenour.com
Favors	•Avoid excess packaging and highly packaged goods    •Carbon offsets or donations to the brides favorite charity	•Terrapass.com
Location	•Choose a restaurant has gone green- sustainable menu, green building, and other green practices    •Choose a museum or historic venue   •Locate near alternative transit options	•GA Options: GeorgiaOrganics.org
Travel	•Encourage guests to carpool    •Offer guests to option to buy carbon offsets	•Evite offers option to list    •Terrapass.com
Waste disposal	•Recycle    •Compost food and paper waste	•Earth911.com    •Composting101.com

Bridal Tea in Baltimore

My first shower was today and it was a smashing success. My adventure in green the wedding continues. And it is going off with flying colors.

Today was hosted by Kelly, my matron of honor and my future sister in law. She found the perfect location- an inn from the 1700’s that is now a state park. It has been beautifully restored with original furniture. We learned the history of the house while we sipped tea and ate lovely, rich pastries. (I was so glad I had gone for a long run that morning!) We all left quite stuffed but pleasantly so.

It was the coming together of the old and new. My “second mother” from my childhood, my friend from grad school, an old friend of Sean’s, his childhood friends, and new family and friends. I was so touched that they all trekked quite a distance to celebrate with me. It truly meant the world.

The gifts. I was so nervous. How would my desires for a green registry play out?  Was it going to fail miserably?  Was I forcing too much of my belief system on other? Was I going to have to give up and resort to Macy’s and Dillard’s? 

I had a pit in the bottom of my stomach as I sat in the center of the room surrounded by a sea of colorful boxes and bags.

Within minutes I knew all of my worry was for naught. The success was better than my wildest dream. The experiment worked!  The organic cotton kitchen towels, decorative root bowl, bamboo salad bowl, fair trade baskets.

It was a wonderful experience for all. I was able to share why I selected the gifts on my registry. My guests told their stories of their shopping adventure. Sean’s grandmother was shocked I loved the bowl made out of papaya and beets she gave me. It gave the group a terrific laugh.  There was also a sharing and exchange of knowledge across generations that I expect happened much more frequently in years past where quilt circles were common.  As the shower progressed, I felt like I had stepped back in time and captured some of what we’ve lost in the modern busy world. 

The Maid of Cynicism

I do not claim to have more experience as a bridesmaid than many women. I have also been lucky in that the weddings I have been in have mostly been pleasant experiences. However, as many women know, when a close friend tells you she has gotten engaged, an internal monologue begins: How exciting! I wonder if she will ask me to be in it. I will be so mad if she doesn’t ask. Do I want to be in it? What if the dress sucks? Can I afford this? Why did I ever agree to be in it? Wait, has she even asked me yet?

Once Mandy asked me to be in the wedding (and the monologue concluded), I immediately agreed. Only seconds later did Mandy begin to explain how she wanted a green wedding — I began to have visions of a granola-paved aisle, organic cotton togas, and a sapling at each place setting. I knew I was in for an adventure. I have been friends with Mandy since our freshman year in college, so I was confident that the greenness would not be gaudy, but would be elegant, understated, and exactly what she and Sean would want.

Obviously, we started with the fun stuff – finding a bridesmaid dress. Well, it sounded fun. Then I realized we would have to take into consideration fabrics, body types, color, cost, locality, and (the one thing that is supposed to make everyone feel better about this entire process) will we ever be able to wear the dress again?! Since Mandy and I are girls who always take the bull by the horns – or the dress by the straps, in this case – we had, in no time, ordered 10 dresses from various websites (Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, J. Crew, and one nonrefundable leftover sample that only came in one size) and had them delivered to Mandy and Sean’s house. In perfect Mandy form, she immediately began planning a party for several of the bridesmaids to try on the dresses; a party replete with food, alcohol, dresses, local experts, and (every girls nightmare when trying on dresses) a film crew. Being that there really will be a film crew at the try-on party, I must go work out now, but I will write a recap post-event and may or may not include photos.